(gender dysphoria) (internalized transphobia) (toxic masculinity) (Dahlia)
Rivers is a man.
A manly man, even, if the words didn’t bring to mind assholes who everyone hates poisoned by toxic masculinity and burry all their feelings and hide everything behind snarky jokes and-
… The point is, he likes it, okay?! Xe likes the tattoos, and the leather jacket, and the stubble, and the building, and the fire, and fuck it, he even likes the sports on the rare occasions when xe can work up enough energy to go through with it.
He made it. Xe did the gender crisis, and the surgeries, and the hormones, and all the insane costs with it, and he’s done, and xe can spit in the fucking eye of every asshat who said he was confused, or wrong, or whatever the new fucking buzzword-of-the-week was. Xe. Is. Done.
He also liked (key word liked, because xe is different now, or so he thinks) feeling pretty, and putting on makeup, and having eyelids that sparkled and blush that looked like stars and spinning around in a circle and having xyr skirt flare out like a flower around him, and giving xemself hight with 6-inch heels. But as previously stated, he doesn’t need that anymore! Xe doesn’t miss it at all, he doesn’t miss being a girl, because that would mean xe was still a girl, and he isn’t.
“Do you like it?” Dahlia purrs, as xe stands in front of a mirror.
The Rivers that he sees staring back at xem is wearing a hand-me-down, backless and tight fitting red dress, it reaches down a little past his knees. Xyr reminded of femme-fatale type charecters he sees in old spy movies.
The feeling of euphoria that washes over xem is… unexpected. It’s similar to the feeling when he first cut his hair short, or wore xyr first binder, but that can’t be right, because he is not a girl. Xe remembers being younger and wanting to vomit while putting similar outfits on, why doesn’t he now?
“It has pockets!” chocco says.
'Holy shit. It has pockets.'
“Yeah.” He says, “I do like it.”
Xe does a twirl to show off every inch of him, it’s clumsy and awkward, he’s out of practice, but xe loves the rush it gives him just as much as when xe was little.
“Can-“ He starts, stops, starts again in a quieter voice- “Can I keep it?”
Puff laughs like this is the funniest thing in the world, “Of course! I never use these nice things anyway, I get flour all over them, you’d make better use of it.”
Rivers is a man.
A manly man, even.
And xe looks hotter than hell in this dress.